Saturday, May 14, 2011

Love For A Child

I remember when I was little telling my mom that the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was a mom. I had my dolls and my Barbies like all little girls. I had a favorite doll that I took everywhere with me. Even to the first day of kindergarten. I grew out of the dolls and the Barbies but I never grew out of my desire to be a mom. While I was carrying my daughter I felt a love growing that I never could have imagined. When I held her for the first time I was hooked. She was the love of my life. I'd loved before. Been in love and been loved but this little person who depended on me for everything was a love so different I could hardly imagine feeling love for anyone or anything as intensely as I did her. I watched her grow. Held her hand when she walked. Cried when she went to school for the first time. Kissed her booboos, rocked her to sleep, watched her sleep. Laughed with her. My first baby is growing up so fast. She recently turned 10 and I feel a little saddened. It won't be long and my first born will be driving, graduating and going off to college. I hope the next 8 years don't fly by me like these last 10.

When I married my husband we talked about more children. We also discussed his adopting my daughter. He said he loved her like he loved his own children. That felt a little strange to me. I didn't know yet how I felt about his children. They are older and were out of the house. I didn't understand loving someone else's child with as much love as you would your own flesh and blood. An opportunity fell into our laps to adopt a little girl. She was a year old when we met her. She was handed to me, put her little head on my shoulder and again I was hooked. I knew at that moment how my husband felt about my daughter. This little one I was holding wasn't flesh of my flesh but she is my daughter just the same. The intense love is the same as if I had carried her and delivered her. A year later our son came to be part of our family.

I can't imagine my life without these 3 precious children. Sometimes they drive me up the wall. What kid doesn't drive their parent up the wall? Together we have 5 children. My step children have become great friends. They have accepted me into their lives and think of me as another mom.

I am blessed.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Getting Ready To Move.

I've been away from this blog thing for a little bit. I've been busy, to say the least. As you may, or may not know, my husband went off to Virginia at the beginning of April. So I've been home getting ready to move. I've had help of course. Lots of friends and family helping me get things packed up and a few things shipped out. I spent a few days wondering how we would get the cars to the other side of the country. Then Danny called, like he does about every night, and said he would be back here the first week in June and we will drive his truck and tow my car. How fun does that sound?!?! Driving across the country with 3 children. There will be a lot of prayer for patience (and forgiveness no doubt) any volunteers to take my place? Just checking.

We had a WONDERFUL Easter weekend. Danny came home Friday afternoon. I had it all planned out. I picked him up while my eldest was in school and the 2 little ones were with grammy and poppy (my 3 year old came up with the poppy thing) Took him to the school to pick up our daughter. He went to her classroom to get her. I heard there were tears of excitement. They are so close. It's precious. We spent the rest of the weekend packing a few things. Sunday was church and what an amazing event that was. I just love Easter and celebrating our risen King. I still find myself in awe of the goodness and mercy our Lord God shows us. Sometimes when I think of my past life I think how blind and foolish I was. To turn a blind eye to the things people tried for a long time to show me. It's all a distant memory now. I can't imagine a moment now without the Lord leading my life and living in me. How precious a gift that is. Such peace and joy abound in my life now. Friday evening there was a showing of the movie "The Passion of The Christ" at our church. I'd seen it once before not long after I received Christ and it moved me then but this time was different. I was with friends, my husband, and family. Tears flowed freely it seemed through the whole movie. After the film was a worship time and I found myself moved to my knees in praise for the sacrifice that was given for me and those like me.


I went to YouTube to watch a video and lost my train of thoughts so I will sign off for now.